what’s this all about? Well….it’s a zesty gumbo of ever-changing deals on superfluous stuff you don’t need, all at mind-numbingly deep discounts. Think of us as the drunken vagrant who emerges from the back alley to cause havoc. In fact, the only difference between us and a bag of manure is the bag.
Hey! Yes you, there in the back of the room: I’m gonna hafta ask you to leave if you keep making those noises.
Where was I? Warning: long-winded but very light and totally digestible gobbledygook ahead. This site is unfocused, meandering, boring, and delusional. Other than that, it’s riveting. Riveting like a riot at an insane asylum. Only without the asylum. Or the riot. Just insane prices on stuff for dudes. Whatever we feel like buying and whatever we can beat up manufacturers and buy for pennies on the dollar.
This site is like a daily treasure hunt and we’ve got new stuff every day. In fact, we’ve got more baggage than Queen Elizabeth on a roadtrip. And when we throw it all into a blender and toss in a copious helping of morbidly obese discounts, it makes for one tasty unholy cocktail. Who has two thumbs and likes the sound of that? This guy. Your transformation from filthy deviant to fine upstanding citizen will then be complete. Blah, blah, blah.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
What are "Event Sales?"
I could be wrong, but it was no less a thinker than Socrates, or perhaps Thomas Jefferson, who once said "if that widget I've been looking for drops down to 60% off MSRP, I'm all over it." So if that maxim is good enough for those guys, I think we can all agree it’s good enough for you, eh coach? Event Sales are limited time blowout deals. Sometimes it’s a collection of stuff, sometimes just a few items. They usually last 2-3 days and feature items for up to 80% off. However, many items sell out before the expiration (and often in the first day of the Event). So act most ricky-tick if you’re interested, otherwise you may have to outfit thyself with the proverbial dunce cap for not being light on your feet.
What is an "INFERNO?"
It’s the lightning round version of an Event Sale. Infernos are not always live, but will pop up on certain days. They consist of rapid-fire deals that are gone as either a) the item sells out, or b) when a time limit is reached, and at that point, like a bothersome weed, a new deal will pop up in its place. Some have reported that after participating in the Unholy Cocktail Inferno, the earth opens up and the Devil himself pops out of the crevice to salute you for your acumen and subsequently carry you away.
How does your email deals list work?
We send out email notifications for limited-time deals and hot new sale events a few times per week that may be of interest to you. Upon receipt, you will immediately become taller, thinner, more hairy-chested, and confident. Plus chicks will dig you. If nothing else, it brings a certain flies-on-fecal-matter spectacle which you will find eerily captivating.
Where does product ship from?
99% of the product offered on UC ships from our award-losing HQ located in pastoral Bath, Pennsylvania. Here our massive staff of trained monkeys run amok in our 50,000 sq ft warehouse, and spend their days picking and packing orders, occasionally getting some right. From time to time, product ships from offsite or directly from the manufacturer.
Speed of shipping?
Most product ships within 24 hours of receipt or less. Depending on proximity to our resplendent fulfillment center here in Pennsylvania.
Terms of Service
By using UnholyCocktail.com, you agree to abide by the following terms below.
Welcome to Unholy Cocktail. Unholy Cocktail is a Brandshopper, LP company (“BSP”) and all charges will appear as “Brandshopper” on your credit card statement.
BSP provides services to you subject to the following notices, terms, and conditions (“Terms”). Please read these terms carefully. Terms, as modified or amended from time to time, are a binding contract between BSP and you. By visiting and shopping at BSP you accept these. In addition, when you use any current or future BSP service you will also be subject to the guidelines and conditions applicable to such service or business. If these conditions are inconsistent with such guidelines and conditions, such guidelines and conditions will control.
1. MINIMUM AGE REQUIREMENT
BSP is intended for use by persons who are at least 18 years old, or the legal age required to form a binding contract in your jurisdiction if that age is greater than 18. By using BSP, you represent and warrant that you are at least 18 years old and of legal age to form a binding contract. If you are under 18, you may use BSP only with the permission and involvement of a parent or guardian.
3. CUSTOMER SUPPORT
You may contact BSP Customer Service by sending an email to email@example.com. You acknowledge that the provision of customer service is at BSP’s sole discretion, and that we have no obligation to provide you with customer service of any kind. We may provide you with customer service from time to time, at our sole discretion, provided that you have created an Account and that you submit your customer service inquiries using such Account.
4. PRODUCT SPECIFICATIONS; PRICING; TYPOGRAPHICAL ERRORS
We are human and therefore make occasional mistakes. Therefore we do not warrant that product specifications, pricing, or other content on BSP is complete, accurate, or error-free. In the event of any errors relating to the pricing or specifications of any product, BSP shall have the right to refuse or cancel any orders in its sole discretion. If we charged your credit card prior to cancellation, we will issue a credit to your account in the amount of the charge.
5. SELLER; RISK OF LOSS
All items purchased from BSP are made pursuant to a shipment contract. This means that the risk of loss and title for such items pass to you upon delivery to the carrier.
6. ELECTRONIC COMMUNICATIONS AND NOTICES
You agree to electronic communication for all of your transactions and communication with BSP. You agree that all postings, notices, disclosures, or other communications that we provide to you electronically satisfy any legal requirements that such communications be in writing.
Except as otherwise provided in these Terms, we will give you any notices by posting them on BSP, and you agree that such posting will constitute effective notice. You authorize BSP to send notices (including without limitation notice of subpoenas or other legal process, if any) via electronic mail as well if BSP decides, in its sole discretion, to do so. You agree to keep your address current and that notice provided by BSP to the address that you have most recently provided will constitute effective notice. BSP’s address for Legal Notices is:
6771 Chrisphalt Dr
Bath, PA 18014
7. MODIFICATIONS TO TERMS
8. POSTING CONTENT; REPRESENTATIONS AND WARRANTIES
You agree to be liable for any content posted using your Account and for any transactions associated with your Account. By displaying or publishing ("posting") any content on BSP, including without limitation text, audio, video, pictures, graphics, music, sound clips, images, likenesses, personal information and other works of authorship (collectively, "Content"), you warrant and represent that (a) you own all rights in your Content and the performance contained in your Content or, alternatively, you have acquired all necessary rights in your Content to enable you to grant to BSP the rights in your Content described herein and for us to exercise the rights with respect to such Content that you grant herein; (b) you are the individual pictured, depicted, and/or heard in your Content, or, alternatively, you have obtained permission (and, if applicable, publicity rights) from each person (including consent from parents or guardians for any individual under the age of eighteen (18)) who appears and/or is heard in your Content to grant the rights to BSP described herein; and (c) your Content is not defamatory in nature, does not infringe the intellectual property rights, privacy, rights to publicity or any other legal or moral rights of any third party.
9. OWNERSHIP OF RIGHTS; LICENSE RIGHTS
You hereby grant to BSP a permanent, worldwide, royalty-free, freely transferable, freely sublicensable (through unlimited levels of sublicense), non-exclusive license to use, reproduce, modify, adapt, transmit, distribute, publicly perform and display (including in each case by means of a digital audio transmission), and create derivative works of the Content, in any form, media, or technology now known or later developed. You also hereby waive any moral rights you may have in such Content under the laws of any jurisdiction. You agree that we may (but are not obligated to) display your Content, and your username or your actual name (according to the preferences you select at the time that you register) along with your Content. You acknowledge that the posting of your Content for any period of time is sufficient consideration for the license granted herein to BSP.
10. PROHIBITED CONDUCT
You agree not to post to BSP any Content or any other materials whatsoever that is or could appear to be: (a) untrue, misleading, harmful, threatening, abusive, harassing, tortious, defamatory, vulgar, obscene, libelous, invasive to another person's privacy or protected data, hateful, or racially, ethnically or otherwise objectionable; (b) infringing or alleged to be infringing upon a third party's intellectual property rights, including any patent, trademark, trade secret, copyright, right of publicity, or other proprietary rights of any party, including, without limitation, any Content that is the subject of any third party claim of infringement; (c) of a type that you do not have a right to transmit under any law or under contractual or fiduciary relationships, such as inside information and proprietary and confidential information; (d) unsolicited, undisclosed or unauthorized advertising; (e) software viruses or any other computer code, files, or programs designed to interrupt, destroy, or limit the functionality of any computer software or hardware or telecommunications equipment; (f) data or information obtained through access that was not authorized by the owner of the data or information, or with respect to which such posting would constitute unauthorized use; or (g) in violation of any applicable local, state, national or international law, regulation, or statute (including export laws).
You agree not to do, or attempt to do, any of the following, subject to applicable law: (a) alter information on or obtained from BSP; (b) tamper with postings, registration information, profiles, submissions or Content of other users; (c) use any robot, spider, scraper or other automated means or interface not provided by us to access BSP or extract data or gather or use information, such as email addresses, available from BSP or transmit any unsolicited advertising, "junk mail," "spam," or "chain letters"; (d) frame any part of BSP, or link to BSP, or otherwise make it look like you have a relationship to us or that we have endorsed you or your Content for any purpose except as expressly permitted in writing by BSP; (e) impersonate or misrepresent your affiliation with any person or entity; (f) bypass or circumvent measures employed to prevent or limit access to any area, content or code of BSP (except as otherwise expressly permitted by law); (g) take any action which might impose a significant burden (as determined by us) on BSP’s infrastructure or performance, or send to or otherwise impact us (or anything or anyone else) with harmful, illegal, deceptive or disruptive code such as a virus, "spyware," "adware" or other code that could adversely impact BSP or any recipient.
11. MONITORING OF SITE CONTENT
We are under no obligation to restrict or monitor BSP Content in any way. YOU UNDERSTAND AND ACKNOWLEDGE THAT BSP DOES NOT REGULARLY MONITOR THE ACCURACY OR RELIABILITY OF CONTENT AND THAT USE OF BSP IS AT YOUR OWN RISK. Notwithstanding the foregoing, we reserve the right to modify or remove any Content at any time. Any opinions, advice, statements, services, offers, or other information or Content expressed or made available by third parties, including other users, are those of the respective author(s) or distributor(s) and not of BSP. BSP neither endorses nor is responsible for the accuracy or reliability of any opinion, advice, information, or statement made on BSP by anyone other than authorized BSP employees acting in their official capacities.
12. PROTECTION OF SITE CONTENT
BSP is protected by U.S. and international intellectual property laws, which you agree to respect. All content on BSP, including but not limited to text, logos, icons, images, graphics, audio clips, compilations, and downloads, as well as the collection, arrangement, and assembly of such content, is the exclusive property of BSP or its content suppliers. All software used on BSP is the property of BSP or its software suppliers.
13. TERMINATION OR CANCELLATION
You agree that we may, at any time and at our sole discretion, with or without cause or any notice to you, terminate these Terms, your access to BSP, and/or your Account, or suspend or block your access to BSP. You will still be liable for any breaches of these Terms and/or obligations incurred before the Terms end. If you use BSP after termination of these Terms, that use will constitute your agreement to the Terms then posted on BSP. BSP may continue to exploit electronic or printed materials it has created, or developed specific plans to create, that contain such Content according to the terms contained in Section 8 with respect to removal or modification of Content previously posted on BSP.
15.DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTIES
BSP MAY CONTAIN ADVICE, OPINIONS, INSTRUCTIONS AND STATEMENTS FROM BSP, ITS USERS AND OTHER CONTENT AND INFORMATION PROVIDERS. THIS CONTENT IS INTENDED TO BE USED FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. YOU USE BSP AND CONTENT AT YOUR OWN RISK. BSP IS PROVIDED ON AN "AS IS" AND "AS AVAILABLE" BASIS. TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW, BSP MAKES NO REPRESENTATIONS, WARRANTIES OR CONDITIONS OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, AS TO THE OPERATION OF BSP OR THE INFORMATION OR CONTENT INCLUDED ON BSP. BSP MAKES NO REPRESENTATIONS OR WARRANTIES THAT BSP WILL BE UNINTERRUPTED, ERROR-FREE, VIRUS-FREE, SECURE, OR TIMELY. TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW, BSP EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ALL REPRESENTATIONS, WARRANTIES OR CONDITIONS OF ANY KIND, WHETHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE IMPLIED REPRESENTATIONS, WARRANTIES OR CONDITIONS OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, TITLE, NON-INFRINGEMENT AND THOSE ARISING FROM A COURSE OF DEALING, TRADE, USAGE OR PERFORMANCE. SOME JURISDICTIONS DO NOT ALLOW LIMITATIONS ON IMPLIED WARRANTIES, AND THEREFORE SOME OF THE ABOVE LIMITATIONS MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU.
Our #1 goal is to be fast, reliable, and accurate. We ship 99% of our orders (if received by 1pm eastern time Monday through Friday) the same day from our warehouse in Pennsylvania.
Time in transit: standard shipping to the contiguous USA takes 1-6 business days from the date of shipment depending on distance from our facility in Pennsylvania (not including weekends or holidays). Regarding shipments to APOs, Alaska, Hawaii, and Puerto Rico: shipping rates vary by product, you will be provided a shipping quote after your order is placed. Please allow a few extra days in transit to these locations. And your summer home in the Galapagos Islands? Sorry, other than APOs and US territories, we don’t ship outside the USA. Some items – due to size constraints or other reasons – are only available to ship within the contiguous 48 states; in such instances it will be noted in the item description.
Returns make our bowels stew like a brick of forgotten Velveeta left for 3 days over a lit can of Sterno. Such requests usually get treated in one of four ways: a Mexican standoff, a war of attrition, a battle royale, or an exchange of tersely worded emails. I kid, I kid.
Our return policy is simple: when your package arrives, open and inspect. Refund of shipping charges will depend on the reason for the return.
If you receive a damaged product: Every product that leaves Brandshopper has been inspected and in grade A condition unless otherwise noted (such as our occasional Scratch & Dent sales). Sometimes things happen on the way to the Coliseum as they say. Damage in transit drives us as crazy as it drives you. If you received a damaged item, we’ll file a claim with the carrier and send you a replacement, in which case shipping is on our nickel. We’ll work to resolve it in a manner that requires the least amount of effort from you possible.
If you are returning an item due to buyer’s remorse: We’ll refund you for the price of the item less shipping, as long as you return it in its original box and in saleable condition.
Returns must be sent back within 14 days. Please return it in the original package, and we’ll issue an exchange or refund depending on the circumstances. Before you drop it back in the mail, email us with your name and order #, let us know the reason for the return, and we’ll issue an RMA (return merchandise authorization). Write the RMA number on the package, as this will make your refund as prompt as possible.
- product photographs can be representative, as colors and finishes shown in some cases may not be exact – actual product may be slightly darker, slightly lighter, etc
- some items will indicate FINAL SALE in which case it is ineligible for return (this is usually the case for Scratch & Dent sales, certain liquidation sales, or other unique circumstances).
Your satisfaction is our highest priority. Should you ever have a problem or question, please contact us.